[HajiMayo] Entangled feelings

[anakiddwrites]

Hajime finds Mayoi in a pinch at Gardenia fields and tries his best to help with lavender and lots of patience.

Proofread by @subahokke

“Ehehe ~ ♪ you are growing healthy and pretty… ~ good, good…”

It was a calm sunny day, perfect for Hajime to work in Gardenia’s fields and give lots of love to the smallest buds sprouting under his care. Wearing a straw hat to protect himself from the sun and a gray-blue jumpsuit so it’d be easy to move around, he was ready to indulge in nature for the afternoon and get a rest from all the complicated problems of idol life. Nothing could go wrong when he was immersed in his element.

…Or so he thought.

Concentrated on tilling the soil for the newest seeds while humming a calm song, he didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary until the wind’s direction changed, carrying a few leaves from behind him along with a peculiar scent.

“H-hhhggggaahhh!!”

“W-wha?” 

A sound similar to a muffled whine startled Hajime and he looked over his shoulder, hoping it was just his imagination running wild. However, he couldn’t deny that he had caught a bush moving abruptly out of the corner of his eye and heard the sound of branches cracking under shoes as well. But it must have been only the breeze. Right? Right. 

But if so, why was a sense of urgency growing inside him like the instincts of a prey under the eyes of an invisible predator?

“...W-who’s there… Ka… Kazehaya-senpai…? Sakasaki-senpai? Hinata-kun…?”

The timid question died in the air without answer, pushing him to investigate the bushes and look for any sign he was just overthinking. And like they say, seek and you shall find, for the good or the worse.

“Kaze… haya… senpai…? Huh-”

As he moved a bush out of the way, Hajime covered his mouth with both hands and leaped back, surprised with the sight in front of his eyes.

“Hhhhggggaaawawaa… I’m s-s-soorrry, I’m soooorry, sorrry… hhgg….”

Someone he had never seen before was crying and squirming amidst the plants, covered in leaves and trying to untangle their braid, which was caught in the branches. Even though a stranger in the fields would be reason to be wary, seeing them in trouble simply brought up the bunny’s benevolent instincts after the initial shock.

“A-ah… excuse me…?” Hajime took a step forward, showing himself as slowly as he could to avoid startling the other… without success, unfortunately.

“GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY, SOOOooorrry…. a-ahhhhhh p-pleasedontlookatmeimsorssosy….” They curled on themselves on sight, trembling all over and sobbing like the role of hopeless prey belonged to them.

“WAAAAHH!!!!”  Hajime screamed back on reflex, losing balance and falling in front of the stranger. Trying to hold back embarrassed tears, he waved timidly but with sympathy after a moment to compose himself again. 

“N-nooo, sorry me…! S-sorry for startling you… P-please calm down a bit…? I won’t hurt you or anything…! It 's okay…! It 's okay… Let me just… ah…”

Since he wouldn’t be able to reassure anyone if his own nerves were on edge, Hajime took a deep sniff of his lavender sachet, counting to ten before looking to the other again with a smile. They were still shaking and crying like a scared animal, hands covering their face in shame with their body half trapped in the big bush. Hajime also finally noticed the Yumenosaki uniform and the green tie, which raised his curiosity but also brought some comfort.

“It’s okay… let me help you, hm? Please don’t move too much…” Taking off the straw hat and speaking as calmly and friendlyly as he could, he crawled closer instead of standing up to stay on their eye level. 

“I’m Hajime Shino, second year at Yumenosaki... What’s your name?”

“I k-knoooow... I m-mean!! I m-meannnn!!! I wasn’t doing anything bad, no, please! I wasn’t stalking anyone…!!! I mean…Huh… A… Ayase... Ma… Mayoi… t-third year…”

“...N-nice to meet you, Ayase-senpai.. ~” Hajime smiled brightly, purposely ignoring the rest of that sentence. He was just too nervous and saying things that could be easily misunderstood, right? Relatable, honestly. Nothing to hold up against someone he just met.

“Well, first of all… we need to be careful with that, hm? It would be a shame if your hair ended up damaged, it’s so pretty…” The rabbit tilted his head, leaning forward and innocently reaching a hand out to touch the purple locks, unintentionally making the senpai sob and whine harder. However, the hair trapped in the bushes didn’t allow him to move away.

“NO!!! Nnnnononono, I’m not!! D-don’t touch me ppplease don’t cooommee collser, pplease!! I shshsouldnt be tttoiched by yoooou….. sssorrry,,,, o-ouch ! Hhggg...”

“Waah!! S-sorry!!! Sorry me!!” Hajime pulled back, a little ashamed of himself, hiding his hands immediately. Even if he meant well, he should’ve known better than to invade someone's personal space, especially when they were really anxious.

“I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I’m sorry… T-take care though, you are going to hurt yourself more if you move too much… hm…”

Despite the tension in the air, he couldn’t just leave the senpai like that, deciding to sit on his knees carefully until his wave of anxiety lowered and silence fell between them again. Mayoi was still unable to make eye contact though, resigning himself to bite his thumb pathetically while breathing heavily.

“Y-you don’t neeeeeed… t-to help me… it’s fine… I’ll just stay heeeere…” He mumbled awkwardly when noticed Hajime’s purple eyes still watching him, overwhelming his already messy senses. “S-someone like me shouldn’t… be helped…”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.. sorry, Ayase-senpai.” Hajime answered with a calm smile, actually relieved that communication between them had been restored at least a little. “I understand it’s an awkward situation for you, but I can’t just leave someone behind to struggle.”

“...I… g-guess… t-that’s how Hajime-san is, after all…” Mayoi aired his thoughts out loud without realizing, quickly looking away and feeling his cheeks on fire.

“...What do you mean?” Hajime blinked, having heard the comment clear enough. His question was free of malice, but it didn‘t do any favors to Mayoi’s guilty heart and he screeched, rubbing his arms nervously.

“...Juuuuust… I m-mean… Aira-san mentioned it… h-how helpful and nice y-you are… I’m in A-Alkaloid too, so… and I’ve seen you two in Branco… t-thanksfortakingcareofhim.” Finding a way out in the last second, he bowed a little, only to whine again due to the branches keeping his hair hostage. But the excuse worked like a charm, making Hajime smile wider.

“Ah! Alkaloid! Ehe, Aira-kun is a delight to work with, it was my pleasure, Ayase-senpai ~ ♪” He bowed back happily, unaware that wasn’t the only instance Mayoi had witnessed his kindness from afar. However, it wasn’t a lie either, and helped to add another stone in the bridge Hajime was trying to build between them right now.

“Ayase-senpai… you are sweating and shaking, I wouldn’t like you to have a full panic attack. Can I offer you something to help…?” He talked slowly, reaching for a new lavender sachet from his jumpsuit’s front pocket and holding it between two fingers. Mayoi’s surprised face blushed even deeper and he looked down, twiddling fingers nervously.

“No… n-no, I shouldn’t… I can’t… accept… Ha… Ha… Ha…Hajime-san’s pure and clean l-lavender, it would… e-erode my body like holy water… I’m ssssooorry…”

“E-eh?” Hajime tilted his head, trying his best to make sense of that cryptid sentence. Good thing that he has had some experience from hanging out with people like Eichi Tenshouin and Aoba Tsumugi, giving him the ability to smile at that and be considerably understanding.

“Lavender… isn’t really a holy thing, though… ~ ♪ it’s just a calming herb that helps you to relax… I mean, it can be poisonous in higher amounts, but this sachet is safe ~ ♪”

“...P-poison, you say? Is it poison…? Wh…” Mayoi tilted head, his eyes focusing for once with a glimmer of interest. “Weh… whehe… hehehe… Ha… Hajime-san knows a lot about herbs, after all…”

“Hm, I still have a lot to learn… but I can be a bit of help as I am now.” Hajime took advantage of that moment, making eye contact and taking a step closer. The other still looked wary, but didn’t throw a fit this time, just staring intensely at the sachet handed over to him.

“It won’t hurt, I promise.”

Mayoi rubbed his gloved hands against each other, swallowing heavily and mumbling to himself, as if struggling with an inner conflict. On the other side, Hajime just waited patiently with his open palm until he was ready to reach a shaky hand in acceptance.

“Tha… thank you, sir… s-sorry for the b-bother…” He exhaled, still hesitating to look at those kind purple eyes.

“No problem ~ ♪” Hajime hummed, gently placing the sachet in his hand from a short distance. The way Mayoi closed eyes shut and gasped when it touched his palm was… peculiar, as if absolutely sure it was going to burn his hand, but of course that didn’t happen. Once the first step was overcome, he could only stare down at the delicate piece with unsettling fascination in his eyes.

“Ah… t-touching… Ha… Ha… Hajime-san’s… p-pure lavender… t-that’s dirty… s-so dirty of me… I s-should not… n-not…”

“Ah! It's okay, Ayase-senpai…!” Hajime spoke up quickly, noticing tears coming back to Mayoi’s eyes and his body trembling again. “Just… give it a good sniff, hm? Close your eyes and don’t think about anything, just let the herbs heal your spirit… ~ waaaah… ~ ♪”

“A sniff… a g-good sniff…” Mayoi repeated, watching Hajime pick his own sachet and do just that, as if demonstrating it to a child. Infatuated with the cute figure and soft noises, Mayoi’s hands moved on their own, finally placing the lavender to his nostrils and taking a quite strong sniff… that ended up provoking a coughing fit.

“W-wah…! B-be careful, Ayase-senpai!!!” Hajime instinctively hopped closer to check on him, concerned. ‘Y-you don’t need to shove it up your nose like that…?! It’s the first time I've seen someone doing it… Take a breath, breath…”

“Waahhggg… waah… d-don’t worry… about me… waaaahhh!! C-close, close, s-so close, t-too cloooose… - ouch !” Still recovering from the cough, Mayoi panicked seeing the bunny so near but once again fell prisoner to the hair still entangled in the bushes. He honestly had forgotten about it at this point, and the sudden tug brought tears to his eyes.

“I’m telling you to not move too much…” Hajime crouched next to him, holding back his urges to pet the senpai’s head when he looked so vulnerable. “Try it again, hm? Slowly now… it’s going to be okay… there, there…”

With a little bit of coaxing and surrounded by the pleasant scent and soft words, Mayoi carefully sniffed the sachet again and soon was able to feel the effects settling down, his shoulders finally relaxing a little and his body quivering with the new sensations.

“A-ah… it feels… nice… nice… wheheheeee…” He exhaled, covering his mouth with both hands and giggling to himself, pretty much for the bunny’s relief. Finally looking directly at Hajime and meeting a calm smile that made him fall quiet, Mayoi almost felt like he was experiencing some kind of peace. At least, the incessant buzz in his mind seemed to diminish for now.

“Good, good… ~ ♪” Hajime clapped his hands softly, satisfied. “It really has a healing effect, right? Now… would you let me help you with that?”

Mayoi followed Hajime’s finger pointing to his own messy braid, more entangled in the branches than ever, and whined again in shame. However, after a moment he took a deep, hitched breath and closed his eyes, nodding slowly. 

“I’ll be gentle, rest assured… deep breaths, Ayase-senpai.” 

It was a bit concerning watching him tremble like he was about to receive a complex medical procedure, but it was even more of a reason to be sensible and by no means rub it in his face. Slowly, Hajime finished undoing the braid and started separating hair from branches, narrowing eyes and leaning closer to take care of the most clogged parts.

“Y-you can just… p-pull it at once and rip it off… no need to be so careful with someone like me…” Mayoi whispered, cracking an eye open. He could see the determination in the other boy’s eyes and felt that he wouldn’t barge into the idea. And as expected, Hajime shook his head in denial, horrified.

“N-no way! And ruining your pretty hair like this, Ayase-senpai…? You’re an idol, you need to be extra careful… don’t worry, it’s just a matter of patience.” He smiled fondly, familiar memories coming back to his mind. “It’s not any worse than my siblings getting bubblegum glued to their hair, and I always managed to take care of it, hm? I’m sorry if I’m being a little rough, but please endure it a bit more…”

“Nooo, y-you aren’t rough at all!!!! Rather the opposite, h-having such gentle hands t-tending to my disgusting hair.. H-hands that cared for good kids’ hair before… ah, I don’t deserve it at all, t-that’s wrong… it’s going to dirty your hands… I’m so sorry, please no!!” 

Mayoi covered his face with both hands and cried louder, absolutely ashamed of letting it happen in the first place and trying to disengage from Hajime’s hands, but he still couldn’t really run away and just pathetically squirmed more, stuck in place.

“A-Ayase-senpai, no…! Waaaah, if you move so much it’s going to take longer…! Stay quiet !” Hajime huffed, now speaking more firmly and furrowing eyebrows, something that seemed to make Mayoi stop moving and obey on sight. Without questioning the implications of that reaction, the rabbit just sighed softly and brought the patient tone back after a moment.

“...I don’t really understand what you mean, and I’m sorry for invading your personal space… but there is no other way now, you know? My hands are always dirty from soil and work, so it’s not a big deal at all ~ ♪ Besides… the last thing your hair would be is dirty… it’s super pretty and silky to the touch, actually ~” 

Despite the comment making him completely flustered, or maybe because of it, Mayoi tried to shake his head in denial, feeling the nervous buzz kicking at full force into his brain again. Sadly, he didn’t realize the bunny’s cheeks were as flushed as his own while he gazed softly at the purple locks sliding among his fingers… or perhaps it was for the best, since the sight would surely worsen his anxiety.

“P-please don’t make fun of me… I know I’m dirty and bad…” Mayoi clasped his hands together nervously, guilt consuming him inside since he knew very well how he had ended up in this situation. Still, he didn’t want to be rude to the cute bunny of all people. “...So… sorry, it’s not… y-your fault though…”

“N-no worries… take another sniff of the sachet, hm? Before you get too nervous again… it’s almost done, I promise.” Hajime answered calmly, not really understanding half of what Mayoi was saying but aware that confronting him wouldn’t do anything good for any of them. The most important now was to de-escalate the issue and release him from the bushes.  

At least Mayoi did as he was told and smelled the lavender again, his eyelids shaking a little as the loud buzz in his mind changed to a lower static noise. The whole deal was starting to make him really mentally tired as well, contributing to slowly crumbling his resistance.

“I-it’s… stronger than it looks…”

“The first time sure feels heavier… I’m used to it, so don't worry if it hits differently for you ~ ” Hajime giggled and Mayoi felt his heart race, not sure if it was due to the packed herbs, the cute laugh or both at once.

“I’m not… u-used to it… feeling calm, I mean…”

“Ah… I feel that, honestly… ” Hajime nodded in solidarity, their eyes meeting again without anxious interruptions for once and making the bunny feel he needed more lavender himself. The senpai sure had a peculiar beautiful eye color, matching his hair perfectly, and a unique pleasant scent surrounding him… but he held back his tongue from any comment that could risk raising Mayoi’s nervousness again, keeping it to his own heart. 

Meanwhile, Mayoi’s brain couldn’t really form any coherent thought besides the urge to bury Hajime’s perfect smiling expression deep into his mind. It was even more angelic than he could fathom while looking from a safe distance.

Even though the situation was more than awkward and coming from different perspectives, at that moment both felt a shared wave of gratitude for being able to meet eye to eye. That sure reflected on the atmosphere turning lighter and brighter, allowing them to finally breathe comfortably together.

“And… done… ~ ♪” 

Hajime’s expression lit up in triumph, the purple hair finally running through his fingers in complete freedom. Still mesmerized by their closeness and the sweet silence, Mayoi blinked twice before remembering the reason why they were still sitting there in the first place.

“Ah… Ah!!! Y-yes, I’m… you… t-thank you… Hajime-san… sorry… the bother…” Mumbling, he curled on himself again, very embarrassed about his loose hair falling on his shoulders and a little sad that they would part ways soon now that the problem was dealt with.

“It’s no bother at all… I’m glad it didn’t get damaged…” Hajime sighed softly, still checking a few strands with his thumbs to make sure it was healthy, a little mesmerized himself. “It’s longer than it looked…”

“A-ah!! S-sorry about it…!” That didn’t make any sense, but what else could he say? “T-that’s why I keep it… tamed… everything’s gotta be tamed… I try… at least… Ha… Hajime-san…?”

Mayoi tilted his head, unable to understand why Hajime still hadn't let go of his hair. In the next moment, the bunny finally realized and retracted his hands back quickly, giggling nervously almost like he had been holding Mayoi’s hand by mistake or something.

“A-ah… I see… ah, sadly the ribbon is ruined but… I have some hair ties here myself and a comb too, so I could help you with it…!” Taking a deep breath, he reached into his back pockets to take out the items mentioned, making Mayoi’s eyes almost jump out.

“Eeeghhhhh??? Nonononono, t-that’s too much…! That’s…!!!” He shrinked, crawling back terrified like a cornered animal, now finally able to open some distance between then without a bush in the way.

“Havingsomeonelikehajimesantouchingmeevenmore… no, no, I couldn’t survive that…!!!”

“A-ah… is that so…? Sorry, I g-guess I’m getting carried away… I just wanted to help you fix it, instead of leaving it halfway done… b-but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, sorry, Ayase-senpai!!! P-please, take care…!”

Growing nervous as well now, Hajime bowed, embarrassed, and quickly turned on his heel, leaving behind a confused Mayoi struggling with his own feelings… and still holding the sachet in his hands, with no heart to take another sniff.

“A-ah, Hajime-san… please don’t be sad… y-you helped me…” He sighed in defeat, standing up after a minute and looking again through the bushes, finding the boy crouched in the same place he had seen him earlier. The disappointed note in Hajime’s voice wasn’t something he wanted to hear, but everything was overwhelming him without a break… However, even if he knew he was a coward, it didn’t feel right to let things end like that between them.  

Still nervous and unsure if it was the right thing to do, he timidly came out of the hiding spot and crawled closer to the field, which made Hajime look over his shoulder, surprised… but he offered a timid smile right away.

“D-do… do you need help with that…” Mayoi looked away from him and stared at the soil, speaking softly. “Y-you helped me, so… I can help you too…”

“...I would be happy for you help… ~ I-if you can, of course. I’m just planting a new flower field… but it’s better to do it with someone else. It’s safer if you tie your hair up, too...” 

Timidly, Hajime offered him a couple of colorful hair ties again, having a gloved hand hovering over it for a few seconds… until Mayoi took a deep breath and turned his back to the boy instead, his heart pounding inside his chest.

“Iiiiiif… you really… want… to.”

He had no strength left to say anything else, but Hajime didn’t need more words to understand. He nodded happily, a lot happier than he anticipated, picking up the comb again and starting to brush Mayoi’s long hair very gently. After a moment of peak fear, Mayoi’s body settled down and he took another sniff of the sachet to deal with it, overflowing with emotions… even though not necessarily negative ones. At least the rabbit couldn’t see his teary eyes from that angle.

“...I’ll just make a ponytail, if that’s okay…?” Hajime added after a few minutes, receiving a timid nod in return. With the greenlight, he twirled the hair with one hand and tied it loosely, just enough to avoid getting in the way of the gardening work. Mayoi had to admit it was a very soothing feeling, just like everything else surrounding the bunny.

“...What… flowers… are you growing…?” He mustered up courage and composed himself enough to ask, genuinely curious and willing to help.

“Sunflowers… ~ to make the fields even brighter and lively. Do you like them, Ayase-senpai…?”

“Y-yeah!! They are beautiful… bright…”

He didn’t have any special feelings towards sunflowers so far. 

“I l-love it.”

“I’m glad… ~ ♪ Well, it’s done here, too.” Hajime giggled, giving finishing touches to the ponytail and slowly letting it go, running his fingers through the cascading purple locks. “Thank you, Ayase-senpai. ~”

“Noooo, no need to thank me… I t-thank you… for the lavender too… sorry for dirtying it…” Mayoi tried to return the sachet, but Hajime denied and gently pushed his hand back.

“Please keep it ~ as a gift. And if you need more, I’ll be happy to share. Just drop by anytime.”

“Aahhhh…. y-you’re too kind… to someone like me… arealangelofkindness…” He exhaled, clinging to the resolution of paying back the help so he could resist the urges of running away. “I’ll t-treasure it then…”

“It’s more than okay, Ayase-senpai… ~ I know how anxiety can be exhausting… I’m just a kouhai, but I’ll do my best to support everyone I can. Every little step counts, you know ~ ” 

Hajime smiled brightly again, and for once Mayoi was able to genuinely return it, despite the sweaty anxiety that wouldn’t go away anytime soon. But at least for now, he felt he would be able to spend some time out in the sun instead of crawling among the shadows. And Hajime sure felt lucky for being able to witness it, his round cheeks blushing on the spot.

“Ah… Ha… Ha… Hajime-san…?”

“Hm?”

“Ah… just… n-nice… to meet you… I… I-I-I guess I should have answered you before, s-sorry…”

“A-ah… Haha… ~ It's okay. Nice to meet you too, Ayase-senpai. Let’s get along from now on, hm? ~ ♪”