[HajiMayo] mundane hymns

[anakiddwrites]

 Once again, the good morning greetings haven't reached the blue-haired girl in the back of the room.

Hajime is suffering with bullying in middle school and finds comfort with a mysterious singing angel.

written for Femstars Week 2023!
prompt: none
 

PRELUDE

The flower pot on that classroom desk wasn’t meant for decoration. 

Hajime Shino was just ten, but she already knew that very well.

Her hands carefully picked it up, placing it under the desk like it wasn’t a big deal; because it wasn’t.

The flowers were pretty. Not their fault for carrying a meaning imposed on their existence by humans.  

Not a big deal. She couldn’t allow it to be.

The class was about to start and the day would go as usual.

Once again, the good morning greetings haven't reached the blue-haired girl in the back of the room.

---

ACT I

Hajime Shino wasn’t sure of who or how had sealed her fate in a silent collective agreement. Like a slow and deadly gas leak, it was impossible to notice before suffocation was inevitable.

The core reasons behind that decision were also lost to her.

Was it because she arrived last at the sports day race and passed out of exhaustion?

Or was it because she screamed after the teacher abruptly called her out from spacing out? 

Shino is taking a shit on the moon again! 

That was the first and only time her name was called by any of them.

It could have been those times, or many other things; could have been something else entirely or nothing at all. Hajime Shino wouldn’t know and no one would tell her that. 

Or anything else, for what matters.

“Hey, what are you doing here aaaaaall alone, Mariko-chan?”

“Ah, it’s my day to clean the classroom ~ I’m already finishing it!”

Overhearing the conversation behind her back from the corner of the room, Hajime finally understood.

The names of Mariko Sagawa and Hajime Shino should be written on the blackboard as the assigned cleaners, but she realized the nature of her punishment when turned her back to see her name erased without a trace while her classmates’ giggles faded in the hallway.

It didn’t take long for the memorial flowers to start appearing on her desk.

The library became her last refuge, where the comfort of the books would never ignore her. She would embrace them all; endless worlds of magic and wonder, tales of evil being defeated and monsters redeemed with kindness. Despite everything, the latter was one of her favorite themes. 

Perhaps because she was the exiled monster of her own story now.

At least it was a way to survive a life that had spiraled out of her control with no perspectives of changing anytime soon.

---

ACT II

“Hajime Shino, right? Ah, I think we are neighbors?”

On a trivial day like any other day, Tomoya Mashiro, a sweet girl from another class, dared to challenge the unspoken rules. 

Of course Hajime had seen her sometimes on the way back home, occasionally exchanging awkward glances without saying a word… until now, fully by Tomoya’s sudden initiative.

“This book is yours, right? It was behind the counter. Here, don’t be shy!”

Hajime's first instinct was to accept that hand, smile in return and say thanks, almost tearing up for the chance of a human interaction after so long. She was even forgetting how to do that, finding herself stuttering and struggling to form simple sentences out loud.

However, the moment of hesitation was enough to notice the disgusted glares at Tomoya from the corners, like she was wallowing in the mud and touching something gross and twisted. 

It should have been obvious; it was too late to be saved by the magic of a princess. 

The only outcome would be selfishly dragging an innocent to hell and Hajime couldn’t allow it to happen. Tomoya-chan hadn’t done anything wrong, after all. She wasn’t a sinner, just someone too kind for her own good, unaware of the atmosphere around that clumsy thing in front of her.

“Hmhm…” Shaking her head, Hajime turned her back to Tomoya, hiding her teared-up eyes.

“Stay away from me!!!”

Leaving her last light of hope behind, Hajime fled the scene without looking back to Tomoya’s concerned expression. It took all of her strength to shout out those mean words, but she had to. It was the right thing to do, even if it was a lie.

But then why was it hurting so bad?

“It’s no big deal.. no big deal… no big… deal…”

She didn’t know where she was running to, mind and heart shaken and lost, desperately needing to be far, far away. From anywhere, anyone, anything at all.

The sun was already setting when exhaustion forced her sore muscles to slow down, sight blurring and school uniform soaked in sweat. Falling on her knees and caughting her labored breath, Hajime looked around and didn’t recognize the place at all, but her mind was too numb to even panic or fight her body falling to the ground, the smell of soil and iron taking over her senses.

“Maybe I’ll die here…”

---

ACT III

Softly, deftly…

music shall caress you…  ♪

However, a distant singing voice reached Hajime’s brain fog, carrying a sliver of curiosity and interest in the living world again.

Hear it, feel it, secretly possess you…  ♪

She lifted her head, trying to find the origin of the delicate but powerful feminine voice singing a tune that she never had heard before, surrounding her along with the shadows of the starting night. 

Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind, 

in this darkness which you know you can not fight… ~  ♪

In a dream-like state, Hajime slowly crawled towards what seemed to be an abandoned construction site, the only place she figured the voice could be coming from, since everything else around was an open soiled field. 

The cold breeze didn’t bother her, fascinated with that newfound mystery like it was a siren call. Or…

The darkness of the music of the night… ~ ♪

“... an angel?”

Hajime whispered timidly to the ruins of retorted metal and concrete in front of her, as if contemplating the gates of Heaven. But the song suddenly stopped and she held her breath, unsure if she was committing yet another grave sin…

“HHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH??”

A loud screeching sound echoed from inside, making Hajime bend over until her forehead touched the ground.

“A-AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! S-sorry!! I’m sorry for the bother!!! P-please forgive me!!” She cried, already anticipating the worst and closing eyes shut waiting for her punishment. 

But only heavy silence followed until she timidly lifted her eyes, finding the dark entrance still as quiet as before.

“... w-why are you here??!!!”

The angel’s voice returned, now with an expected tone of worry and surprise, after all Hajime was the invader. At least it didn’t sound angry and impatient, pretty much for her relief.

“I-I’m sorry…! I didn’t mean to bother you…” Still she humbly bowed, not wanting to risk upsetting the angel. “I… I just heard your singing… I’ve n-never heard something so beautiful, so… I j-just wanted to hear more, sorry…” 

She looked down, cheeks blushing for the embarrassing confession and clutching hands to her chest. Despite the silence following again, Hajime could feel eyes on her and a presence lurking inside the ruins, but somehow she didn’t feel unsafe, only growing curious about the mysterious figure.

“... d-did… did you… really like it that much…?”

“... I did… it’s beautiful, I don’t know how to explain, but… I felt embraced by it…” Hajime nodded, opening her first genuine smile after so long, daring to crawl a little closer to the entrance.

“C-can I ask what song is it…? Did you write it…?”

“Ah… n-no, no… It’s from a stage play…The Phantom of the Opera… y-you probably don’t know…”

“Oh! Oh, I do know!!!” Hajime felt a bit of joy coming back to her soul thanks to the familiar name, clapping hands. “I read the book, but I didn’t know about the play…!”

“Oh…? T-that’s unusual… but w-wait, that’s not a book for kids… e-even if I can’t say much too…” 

“... I k-know…” Hajime sighed timidly, unsure of how to respond. “I j-just… read a lot of everything… I’m… I’m w-weird, I know that… I’m sorry…!!!” She panicked for a moment, worried if the angel would hate her too and leave.

“H-huh? You don’t have to be sorry…I… I’m happy you know the story…! It’s one of my favorites…” The angel sounded wary for a moment, but her tone changed to a kind one as if noticing Hajime’s anxiety and trying to be considerate. 

“And you don’t look weird at all!!! R-rather the opposite, weheheheh… I m-mean!!! E-except for being here all alone, so far from school at a time like this! It can be dangerous…” 

“... I guess…” Hajime looked away, trying hard to not think about the reasons she ended up there, not questioning why the owner of a voice not much older than hers would be hidden in such a place as well.

Fiddling with her braid, she tried to find words to talk but her mind was just static noise, too rusty to keep conversations with other people or angels.

“... S-so… Ah… Do… Do you want to hear more?” 

The offer couldn’t have come in a better moment and Hajime accepted it, timidly nodding and grateful for the kindness of that stranger.

♪ ~ Floating, falling, sweet intoxication….

Touch me, trust me, savor each sensation… ~ ♪

Closing eyes, Hajime let the comforting song take her burdens away, even if for a brief time.

Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in… 

♪ ~To the power of the music that I write… ~ ♪

She took a few moments to notice the tears rolling down her cheeks beyond her control. 

When was the last time she had allowed herself to cry?

---

ACT IV

... The power of the music of the night…. ~ ♪

The meanings of those lyrics could be lost to a child like her, but the emotions were absolutely real and resonating with her melancholy. Covering her mouth to muffle the sobs, she listened to the perfect and passionate performance to the very last note.

She had met a real angel, no doubts about it.

“...... A-AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!???”

Suddenly a panicked scream and high-pitched voice replaced the velvet tone, as if the angel had just noticed Hajime’s crying face after finishing the song. 

“ S-sorry, sorry!!! D-did I upset you?!?!? O-ofcourseididsomethinglikeme….” 

“N-no, no!! Of course not!!! It’s the opposite!!!” Hajime shook her head in denial, eager to clear the misunderstanding. “S-sorry me, I don’t know what came over me… p-please don’t mind, I cried because it was too beautiful… the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard… ah, thank you so much for allowing me to listen!!!”

Hajime bowed her head under confused noises of the angel, then everything was silent again… until a roll of paper towel gently rolled to her from the shadows, followed by shy whispers.

“... n-no need to thank me…,,,,, it’s not a big deal…. I’m always…. singing here, alone… n-not bothering anyone… how it should be…”

“Alone… w-why should you be alone…?” Hajime innocently asked while wiping her tears, not wishing a lonely life like that on anyone else. Especially not on someone talented and kind like that angel, so different from her own dim-witted and useless self.

‘T-that’s… that’s just how it should be…!!!! I mean… D-don’t worry about it…” The angel raised her voice for a moment, but toned it down before Hajime’s wide eyes. “It’s… it’s getting late and dark, you… should go home…”

“A-ah… i-it is…” Hajime stuttered, finally realizing the darkness around her… and that she didn’t know where she actually was or how to come back home after running away with nothing but the clothes she was wearing.

“... Y-your uniform…. if you a-are from that school, you can find a bus stop on the other side of the street… behind you… to return to that neighborhood….” 

Hajime spotted the bus stop in the distance, sighing in relief and thankful for the angel’s advice reaching her before the panic attack started.

“T-thank you…!!!!” She managed to stand up and smile despite the shaking legs, bowing again to the dark entrance a few times. “I must be able to get home from there, so thank you… again, r-really sorry for the bother…!”

“J-just… just take care… it’s not really a bother…y-you should go back…”

Despite the relief of having a way back home, Hajime’s expression dropped once remembering the life waiting on the other side. Her parents were a safe haven, but she couldn’t talk about the hell going on at school when they were already struggling with money and two small kids.

Still, she just nodded, since the angel was right and she was already enough of a useless older daughter as it is. No need to cause even more trouble. Cleaning the dust off her skirt and bowing one last time, she started walking in slow steps, feeling the tension returning to her shoulders now the dreamy song had ended. 

But she still felt eyes on her from behind and the angel’s presence in the air, gathering courage to turn her head back despite the flustered face.

“I…! I… m-may I…” Taking a deep breath, she fought her dry throat to force the words out. “C-can I… come back… to l-listen to you again… please…?”

Deep silence followed the bold question for an eternity before whining sounds and a timid whisper was carried to her ears again.

“... i-if you want… I won’t stop you…”

Hajime did her best to not cry, relief washing over her with the hope of a temporary escape. Perhaps the kind angel noticed the despair in her voice and accepted that selfish request despite her isolation, and Hajime couldn’t be more grateful.

“T-thank you!! Thank you very much!! I won’t bother, I swear!!!”

Thanks to that simple promise, Hajime found strength to come home safely and get up from the bed the next day.

---

ACT V

Nothing changed in Hajime’s real life after that mysterious meeting, but the memory of the angel’s gentle voice was helpful to navigate a world where she didn’t exist and bear with the guilt of avoiding Tomoya in the hallways. And the impression of having eyes on her while humming to herself should be just imagination, since no one had a reason to acknowledge her presence.

Besides, she had a new goal in mind before her next visit to the abandoned site, running to the library’s multimedia room.

“I watched it!!!” 

Hajime announced with a bright expression upon the dark entrance, sparkling with renewed excitement and breathing heavily for running to the ruins after class.

“I watched the Phantom musical during break today… i-it was amazing!!! I couldn’t stop and lost the last three periods…. ehe…. b-but it was worth it!!!”

“... d-did you…? W-why…?”

The timid whisper came out of the darkness, making Hajime’s heart race. She looked away blushing, sitting down and playing with her braid, feeling awkward in a new and pleasant way that was hard to describe.

“... I w-was curious… I wanted to know more about your song… and the story… I see why it’s your favorite, I loved it too! I cried at the end… it was very tragic… more than the book…”

“.... t-tragic? D-did you feel bad for the Phantom…?”

“Of course I did…! He did a lot of bad things, it’s true… but growing up alone and desperate, without love… I can’t really hate him… no one should be living like that…”

“... even if he was… a horrid creature since birth…?”

“H-he was human though? No, even if he wasn’t… even if he was… slow, dim-witted and unfit… m-maybe I’m a fool, but…” Hajime wanted to continue, but a sudden wave of sadness overwhelmed her, bringing out stubborn tears. “... it’s so unfair… isn’t it…”

The angel in the darkness fell silent, leaving Hajime with her confused thoughts for a minute. She just wanted a break from her neverending struggles, but they seemed to haunt her like a curse everywhere and she didn’t know how to deal with it.

... think of me… think of me fondly…  ~ ♪

But a new song started in a gentle tune, and Hajime gladly latched onto it like a lifesaver.

Remember me, once in a while

Please promise me you'll try… ~ ♪

When you find that once again you long

To take your heart back and be free

If you ever find a moment… ~ ♪

“... spare a thought for me…” Before Hajime knew she was following the music like a prayer, timidly singing along with eyes closed.

“...?”

… We… we never said… our love was evergreen…  ~ ♪

The angel didn’t seem to mind, adjusting and even discreetly guiding Hajime’s voice to sing at the best pace. 

“... or was unchanging as the sea… ~ ♪” She indulged in it, slowly raising her voice and not thinking about anything else but the music and the angel’s voice along with hers.

That was how living in a fairytale should feel like.

Flowers fade, the fruits of summer fade, 

they have their season so do we… ~ ♪

But please promise me that sometimes

You will think of me… ~ ♪

The song ended in a soft fading silence and Hajime didn’t want to open her eyes and wake up from that comfortable daydream, until a round of applause surprised her. For a moment she worried someone else was watching them both, but the sound was coming from the inside of the construction site too.

“... sssso precious!!! Y-your voice is loooovely… wheheheh, like a real angel… I m-mean…!!! I had no idea you could sing, I was surprised…!”

“M-me, an angel?!” Hajime gasped, blushing intensely at the praise and not noticing the overexcitement of the words thrown at her. “I c-can’t really… I don’t know what came over me, s-sorry! I got carried away and messed with your singing…”

“P-please, I don’t mind!! You really have potential and softness to your voice… with some training, your song could really take flight!!!”

“... my song…? I… I’ve never thought about it… a-and my family wouldn’t have money for singing classes anyway…” Hajime confessed, fiddling with her hair and looking down. She never had been praised for any ability in particular, only cuteness, but recently even that had been taken away  so it was awkward to be showered in compliments out of nowhere.

Better to not feed useless hopes and end up even more hurt, no matter how nice hearing that could be.

“... I understand… I’m sorry… but… hm…” The angel’s voice seemed to sway, mumbling to herself and confusing Hajime until she spoke up again. 

“I c-could… help you!!! I m-mean… even though it’s s-something like me… I know a bit about singing, so… if you want, of course!! S-sorry for the audacity…,,,,,”

“... help… y-you would help me??!!” Hajime’s eyes widened, leaning closer to the entrance in disbelief. “F-for real….? You would teach me how to sing…?”

“SORRY!!! S-SORRY, s-sorrythatwasanawfulideaishouldnot….”

“NO, NO!!” Hajime interrupted, screaming for once and trembling all over. “No, please, it just sounds too good to be true… I’m not sure if I could pull it off, though…. I’m clumsy, n-not good at anything… I…. don’t w-wanna waste your time… b-but…”

Hajime wished she could hold back her tears while talking, but it was impossible. The angel had no idea she was holding a rope to her in a bottomless pit and she desperately needed to cling on to it, despite all the fears and insecurities.

“... I’m sorry for being so selfish, but, p-please, I’ll be in your care!!! I’ll do my best and… if I’m not fit for it…” She bowed, clutching hands together and holding her breath, finishing the sentence in a weak whisper. “... then it’s okay…”

It wouldn’t be okay at all to be rejected again, but refusing that offer and living the same pain as the time she pushed Tomoya-chan away was even scarier.

“... I’m sure you are fit for it.”  

But the nervousness and hesitation were gone from the angel’s voice and Hajime almost could feel her smile behind the darkness, allowing her to feel the tiniest bit of confidence.

“T-thank you!!! I’ll do my very best!!!” 

Hajime never had considered learning how to sing or dance before, but if that was a way out of a miserable existence, she was willing to accept the kind angel’s blessing with her whole heart.

---

INTERLUDE

“Mama got me this pamphlet about Takarazuka today… have you heard about it?”

Life at school didn’t get any better, but the singing lessons after classes did wonders to make it bearable. Hajime wouldn’t dare to call the angel a friend, but it was the closest in a long time and a great teacher, as she found out very soon. Not only her singing improved, but also her mood and ability to make conversations, even if her confidant was always hidden behind a veil of darkness.

So talks about the future and dreams were starting to become a possibility again.

“Papa and her said I’m singing very well… and that’s all thanks to you..! She didn’t question it, but she told me that if I want to keep going, they can save money to enroll me there… or another music school I like.”

“Takarazuka??!! Y-yes I know it… of course… a-and are you considering it?”

“I… I looked it up and it’s interesting… a theater company only for women… They have a Phantom of the Opera stage too!! A-ah, you must know about it… the entrance exams sound tough, but maybe… if I start working hard now…?”

“... y-yes, I do know… e-ehehe…. Hajime-chan would make a wonderful Christine… I can see it even… if you are dedicated, you can do anything you put your mind in.”

“T-thanks… even if dreaming of the main role sounds too arrogant…” Smiling, Hajime tried to ignore her own blushing cheeks over the comments. “But with your training, I feel I can at least try…! I’m so thankful to you…”

“Y-you don’t need to thank me so much… you did work for yourself… soon you won’t need me anymore!!!”

“P-please don’t say that… I still have a lot to learn and… I w-was thinking…” She looked away from the shadows, feeling that strange fluttering feeling in her stomach again that kept returning during casual conversations with her teacher.

“A new school sounds scary but.. i-if you go with me… I’m s-sure you would make it to Takarazuka with no problem!!!”

“.... m-me… g-going to school with you?!!?!?!!??”

“It’s gonna be in a few years, right? Y-you don’t sound so older than me… s-so… maybe… y-you don’t need to stay alone in there forever!”

“That’s nonsense, nonononono!!! Impossible, Hajime-chan, you should know it’s impossible!!!”

“H-how… how should I know, though? I… I don’t know anything about you… y-you have been helping me a lot, more than you imagine, so…! Please consider it…?” Hajime offered a hand to the darkness, timidly walking closer to the entrance. That was bolder than anything she had done in her life, but a promise like that with the angel was worth enduring her heart pounding like it was going to jump out her chest.

“N-NO!! STAY AWAY FROM MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!”

The terrified scream resonated like a curse, amplified by the construction’s walls and freezing Hajime on sight. She lost balance and fell on the ground, trembling from head to toe not because she felt threatened, but afraid of pushing the kind angel away once and for all.

“A-ah..!!!!! S-sorry, sorry!! I was selfish and dumb, sorry!! P-please don’t leave!!!” She screamed back to the shadows, not daring to follow inside and risk ruining things even more. “Please… PLEASE, FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEE!!!!”

Her lonely cry echoed without an answer, even if she waited on her knees until there were no more tears left to cry, silently praying for a miracle. 

“D-don’t leave… me…”

But the angel didn’t come back.

“F-forgive me… I don’t know anything… sorry… I’m really sorry…”

She dragged herself away with the first stars of the night, seeing the world through a gray fog of regret and loneliness. That should be the burden of destroying the best thing in her life with her own careless hands and selfish fantasies.

At ten years old, Hajime Shino experienced her first heartbreak.

“Maybe I deserve to disappear, after all…”

---

ACT VI

Despite having one of the worst nights of her life and feeling too weak to attend school the next day, Hajime couldn’t just let things between her and the angel end like that. So she sneaked out and headed to the abandoned site at the usual time, rehearsing all types of apologies in her head to make up for the mess she created in their paradise.

The angel was kind and understanding and she was genuinely sorry, so there was hope for amends. At least she wanted to believe it.

But once arriving, an unexpected meeting froze her in sheer fear.

“Let the angels guide this unfortunate soul to heaven.. ~ Let the angels guide this unfortunate soul to heaven.. ~ Let the angels guide this unfortunate soul to heaven.. ~”

Three classmates of hers were standing next to each other at the entrance, hands clasped together and chanting whispered prayers. An odd scene that Hajime had the feeling she didn’t want to understand.

“... Sa… Sagawa-chan…? A-and the others…?”

But they wouldn’t let her in the dark for long.

“Did you hear something? Ah, I guess it’s just the wind… or the ghost .”

“Indeed, indeed! The ghost must be around… ah, that poor girl ~ she can’t find peace yet!”

Hajime took a step back, feeling the poison seeping through the sweet words but unable to run away or fight like invisible chains were holding her in place.

“It can’t be helped, right? Ghosts can’t be seen or touched, but they sure lurk around the living like flies ~” 

The third girl stepped to the side, revealing a small domestic funeral service on the ground, with candles, flowers and in the center a framed photo of Hajime sleeping at her desk.

Facing her own image in that ensemble, all the life was sucked from Hajime’s eyes.

“Poor ghost, haunting the hallways singing a sad song over and over… some could say it’s annoooooying… ah, but we can bring an end to her misery with our prayers ~”

“I’m... I’m not…” Hajime gasped weakly, shaking her head in fear and looking at her own cold hands. “I’m n-not… right…?”

“Waaah…!!! I can feel the ghost nearrrrrrrrr!!! Oh no, oh no!!!” 

Ignoring her pleas and presence, they just squeaked together among laughs and loud hand clappings, repeating the chants and telling the ghost to go away over and over.

“But I-I’m alive… I’m not a ghost… I’m not d-dead… right…? Right?!??!!?” 

Under the disturbing noises and laughter, Hajime covered her ears and grabbed her hair, trembling violently and starting to question everything and everyone. The images of the memorial flowers on her desk were mixing with the long breaks in the library and lonely lunches at the rooftop, where no one would call her name or look in her direction. 

Day after day after day, the same thing repeating forever in a blur.

It wasn’t normal, was it?

“I... I passed out the first time I came here…. d-did I die that day? If the angel is a ghost… it makes sense, right? Does she even exist… Did Tomoya-chan see my ghost… Did Tomoya-chan exist…?”

Maybe she wasn’t sleeping in that photo. 

Maybe her classmates weren’t ignoring her.

Maybe they really couldn’t see her, because…

“... do I… exist…?”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

A mess of loud high-pitched screams and a cloud of dust exploding from inside the construction site suddenly interrupted her spiral, but it was the intro of the Phantom of the Opera theme blasting in the air that really brought her back on her feet. 

The instrumental music overcame the chants and screams of her classmates, now too busy being showered with debris and sand to pay attention to Hajime.

“A GHOST, A REAL GHOOOOOOST!!! A MONSTER!! RUN!!! HELP!! HEEEEEEEELP!!!”

Hajime just stared at the scene, standing in the center of the turmoil while the girls passed by her, crying and running desperately in the opposite direction. Her mind was still chaotic and she couldn’t fully grasp what was happening, but a pair of deep teal eyes and a shark teeth smile stood out in the middle of the sand cloud, making her heart skip a beat.

“... angel…?”

That was her last thought before everything turned into a mixed blur and she fainted, unbearably exhausted and overwhelmed.

“Hajime-chan!! Hajime-chan… oh, thank goodness…!! My sweet child…”

When Hajime opened her eyes again, the first thing she felt was the touch of her mom’s hand holding hers and head resting on a soft pillow. Her body was still heavy and sore, but at least the hospital room was quiet and peaceful. Still, she couldn’t stop crying for some reason, tears promptly wiped one after another by her worried mom.

“Mama… papa too… s-sorry…”

“You don’t have to apologize, dear. I’m the one sorry, I had no idea…” Mama squeezed her hand more, a glimpse of anger mixing with the grief. “But one of those girls confessed everything after she was confronted about that disturbing photo. She seemed terrified about something, but the important thing is… now we know.”

“... g-girls…? Confessed.. what…? What happened…” Hajime started to feel uneasy again, but a gentle hand to her head comforted her feelings.

“I know you just woke up after hours passed out…” Papa spoke up, holding her other hand and looking at her with kindness. “But it’s ok, dear. The police found you so far from home, and the whole… weird funeral thing too. Your mom talked to the principal and it’s all solved.”

“We’re taking you out of that school.” Mama said firmly, looking into Hajime’s eyes. “I’m so sorry we didn’t realize… but the teachers didn’t do anything either so I don’t trust them anymore. My little girl… I’m so sorry, but it’ll be ok from now on.”

Hajime was still too confused and tired to understand and question anything, but the kindest voice and tight hug of her mom were enough for now. Closing her eyes, she nestled in her warmth like a little bird returning to the nest, feeling genuinely safe after a long time.

“... I guess I’m really alive…”

---

POSTLUDE

“Congrats on passing the entrance exam, Hajime!!! You worked really hard!” 

Tomoya congratulated Hajime on their way back home as usual, after the last day of school.

“T-thanks, Tomoya-chan…! Congrats on passing the school theater exam too… it was the place you wanted, right?”

“Y-yeah…! I mean, I expected you to go just fine, but I’m surprised I made it… there is an eccentric senior there, but I think I can manage it…” Tomoya huffed, rolling her eyes. “She chased me after the exam for no reason at all, but I guess an art school is gonna be full of personalities.”

“Ehe ~ I’m sure you got this… I’ll miss you though…” Hajime looked away timidly, clutching at her suitcase. “But I’m glad we could become friends after I changed schools…”

“Yeah, I think it was for the best… the last few years went by so fast, though… it’s strange to think we’re leaving middle school, I don’t feel like I’m fourteen at all..”

“You don’t tell me… So many things happened… b-but I’m excited to move forward!!! I could barely breathe until getting the exam results, so I don’t remember the last weeks very well...”

“Hahah ~ you’re always overthinking, Hajime. I worry about you to be honest, that zuka school is super strict…. aren’t you coming back crying after three months?”

“NO!!! Tomoya-chan!! That’s really what I want, so I won’t be giving up…! I can’t give up…”

“Ahaha… I know, I know. You’ve been preparing for this for years, honestly it’s inspiring. Now be sure to become a top star, hm? I’ll watch you in the first row.” Tomoya chuckled, offering some headpats to soothe her frowning friend along with genuine support.

“T-that’s a lot to ask for, but… I’ll do my best…” Hajime sighed, slightly blushing and lost in thoughts of the past for a moment, gazing at the dust-colored clouds in the horizon.

“It’s my dream and my salvation, after all…”

Some months later Hajime was crossing the gates of Takarazuka Preparatory School, chasing a dream that had a rocky start but blossomed into a genuine passion. 

She never had seen any sign of the mysterious angel again, the construction site demolished for good a few months after the incident. But she absolutely was real and had left an irreplaceable legacy to Hajime when she needed the most, and for that she would be forever grateful.

“ I wasn’t able to make amends… but I won’t waste your kindness and teaching, so please watch over me… W-WAH!?”

Lost in thoughts while crossing the new hallways, Hajime bumped into someone when turning a corner, making both fall on their back and paper sheets scatter on the floor.

“S-sorry, sorry, I was too distracted…!!! A-ah, I’m really clumsy!!” Hajime quickly started gathering the papers and getting anxious, especially if she was bothering a senior… but looking up to the lady in question her heart skipped a beat.

Purple short hair, teal bright eyes and sharp shark teeth brought her back to a certain unforgettable day five years ago. 

They stared at each other in silence for a few frozen moments, the schoolgirl looking even more surprised and pale than Hajime.

“C-can it be… ah… we… h-have we met before, by chance…?” Hajime whispered in awe and disbelief, forcing the words to come out of her mouth despite all the odds looking so improbable and too good to be real.

“N-NO! I mean… hmhmnnggg,,,,… s-sorry!!!” 

Despite the denial, Hajime would recognize that whimper and nervous tone in every universe or period in time. But she was too flabbergasted as well, matching that beautiful face to the voice of her childhood guardian angel and unable to react before she stood up quickly and turned the corner with her papers as if running away.

“Wa…w-wait, WAIT!!” But when Hajime gathered her thoughts and followed her shadow a few seconds later, mysteriously there was no one like that in the hallway.

“Huh… I’m… am I hallucinating now…”

“No, no, you aren’t. Ayase-senpai is just like that! She can appear and disappear at her own will.” A voice called her from behind, another girl in uniform smiling with arms crossed and measuring her head to toe. “It’s impressive she even said a word to a rookie like you after bumping on her… treasure it, okay?”

“... y-you… ah… you have no idea of how I treasure it…” Hajime giggled almost feverish, cheeks growing red and taking a deep breath to ground herself the bare minimum. “Ayase… Ayase-senpai is her name?”

“Hmhm… yep, Mayoi Ayase-senpai, a senior… one of the biggest talents of this cycle and quite eccentric. She’s always elusive like that but very kind! You’ll get used to it.” The girl did look a little intrigued with Hajime, but didn’t say anything about that quirky behavior towards a senior she should be meeting for the first time.

“S-sure… that checks out… I m-mean… t-thanks!!! Ah, I should… I n-need to… the entrance ceremony…”

“Yep, you shouldn’t get late for that… it’s the first day of the rest of your life, after all. I know Ayase-senpai is breathtaking, but get used to it, huh? Or you won’t last a week.” 

“Eheheheheh…!! S-sure thing!!” Maybe she was acting a little weird and over the moon, but all those sweet feelings buried deep for years were resurfacing and making her drowsy with hope and warmth.

Smiling brightly and nodding, Hajime thanked the student again and walked away in fast steps, feeling like humming one of her favorite childhood songs.

“Long ago… it seems so long ago…

How young and innocent we were…

She may not remember me… But I re~mem~ber~her…. ~ ♪”

The school year was starting strong with the promise of a bright new future.