[IbaHaji] summertime paranoia

[anakiddwrites]

Hajime is feeling under the weather in the summer resort, Ibara comes to the rescue.

Enstars Rarepair Week 2024
Day 5 - Sickness
 

 “Uuuuu… h-hm… j-just a little… more…”

Hajime dragged himself through the resort hallway, hand leaning on the wall for support and socks making a scratchy sound against the red carpet. Somehow the path was feeling longer and even more daunting than earlier, his head spinning harder at each step and darkening his peripheral vision very fast.

“M-my room… s-should be around here.. right…? A-ah !” He bumped into a hard surface suddenly, wobbling back and forth and gripping at the nearest place for balance out of instinct. When his eyes refocused again, he saw a beautiful vase slightly shaking on top of the structure he was holding onto, making him hold his breath in horror until the object stopped moving without any worse consequence.

“ A-AH!! S-SORRY… !!!” Hajime let go of the stone pillar and backtracked a few steps, hugging himself tight as if his hands would put anything he touched on fire. “S-sorry… sorry… ah.. a-ah…”

He couldn’t take his eyes off the vase, having the crushing realization that the single object should be worth ten times his family’s life savings… more likely a hundred times , actually, just like everything else in that resort. From the soft pillows to the huge pool and the carpet he was stepping on, damaging a single thing in the vicinity would cause irreparable damage to his fragile financial stability. 

“... n-no… no…”

The thought alone was enough to make his legs weak and eyes tear up, imagining himself getting into crippling debt, draining his family’s hard-earned money and credit, losing his reputation and being forced to work for free for the rest of his life for a rich heir-

“... -nyan?”

“AAAAAHHHH!!! S-SORRY, SORRY, I’LL PAY FOR IT, I PROMISE!!! P-PLEASE JUST SPARE MY FAMIIIIIIILY!!!!”  

Hajime turned abruptly to the distant voice calling him amidst his spiral, bowing profusely with hands clasped and eyes closed in penitence. But after a few moments, a hand touching his shoulder caused him a startled whine, but brought him back to his senses enough to open eyes and see the reality in front of him again.

“... Jimenyan..?! Are you alright…?”

A confused Ibara was blinking in front of him with a concerned look behind his glasses and a firm but gentle grip on his shoulder - grounding would be the best term to describe it. A grounding touch Hajime could focus on until feeling the soft floor stable under his feet again.

“Take a deep breath… breathe in, breathe out.” The senpai’s calm voice came in assistance as well, and Hajime copied his instructions obediently until the air was flowing properly in his lungs and pumped to his brain. “There you go.”

Ibara patted his shoulder in reassurance, earning an apologetic smile as the color slowly returned to the boy’s face and his eyes returned to the present moment.

“T-thank you… Ibanyan… sorry… I was acting weird…” He took a last deep breath, relaxing his posture and absolutely grateful for not being alone anymore. It hasn't been doing good for his heart.

“Don’t mind it. But you got me worried, Jimenyan… from my point of view, it was like you were alone in a bloody battlefield surrounded by the enemy, if you ask me.”

“... ah.” Hajime blinked, taken aback for a second and unable to avoid a slightly uncomfortable grim. Somehow, Ibanyan had hit the nail on the head a little too fast. 

“... Jimenyan?”

“H-haha… m-maybe… you aren’t wrong…hm.” He cleared his throat, rubbing his eyes a little too strongly. “My head hurts.”

“I bet, Jimenyan.” Ibara stepped closer, looking at Hajime with deeper concern. “I was giving an extreme example, not expecting you to relate to… oh my, you’re sweating a lot and shaking too, that’s no good. You really need to be careful with exposure to the summer heat.”

‘Y-yeah… summer…” Hajime repeated without much thought behind it, too busy fighting against the weakness spreading through his body and exhausted mind to give Ibara a proper answer.

“.... I have headache medicine, hang in there.” Casually, Ibara reached for a medicine blister in his pocket and offered it to Hajime with a large smile. “Those are really easy to swallow dry! But ah, you need to hydrate yourself anyway so let’s get a water bottle first.”

“I-Ibanyan… I appreciate it, but… do you always have headache medicine with you?” It was Hajime’s turn to throw him a concerned look, watching the light quickly fading out from Ibara’s eyes in contrast with the peaceful smile.

“... Always. Stomach ache too. And.. others! Anyways! Come with me, Jimenyan! You also could use some fresh air! ~ ☆”

“.. W-waah…? Now…?” Without giving room to unimportant details or refusals, Ibara draped an arm around Hajime’s shoulder to gently but firmly guide him out of the hotel resort.

In five minutes they were sitting in a calm spot at the beach, watching the waves from a safe distance under the shade. After downing a whole water bottle with a pill and feeling the fresh breeze through his hair and skin, Hajime’s world finally returned to an axial rotation instead of a chaotic spin.

“Thanks, Ibanyan….” He repeated, putting the empty bottle in a bag and looking at him with a calm smile. “I feel more like myself now… I’m really sorry… I-I guess the heat really got me today..! I’ll be more careful from now on.”

“Hmhm… for sure you can’t underestimate the hot weather, Japan's summer has always been merciless and climate change makes it even worse.” Ibara adjusted his glasses, watching Hajime carefully despite his business smile. “No need to apologize, I’m glad you feel better now. However… you said something that stuck with me, Jimenyan, so forgive me for bringing it up…”

He leaned closer, speaking in a lower voice and looking Hajime right in the eye, making him freeze in surprise and worry if he had done something really wrong and unsettling… did he howl at Ibanyan and forgot about it? Or worse, did he really break something and didn’t notice-

“... is there someone blackmailing you… are you in debt? Were your family threatened?”

The overthinking spiral - the demon always luring and waiting to take over Hajime - was stopped in the first tracks by those unexpected questions, replacing his fears with pure confusion.

“... Ah?”

“... you screamed ‘ I’ll pay for it, please spare my family ’ first thing when you bumped into me.” Ibara repeated his own words to him in total seriousness, his eyes with solid resolve and whispering in a secretive tone. 

“You can talk to me, Jimenyan. That’s why I brought us here, where no one can eavesdrop or suspect your intentions. I’ll assist you and your family with anything, so do not be afraid to tell me what is happening.”

“.... a-ah… ah….?!”

Hajime blinked once, then twice, covering his mouth and totally lost on how to even start responding. The situation took an unexpected turn, but after a moment of consideration, that was a fair assumption from someone neck-deep in the industry like Ibara, making it even harder and more embarrassing to dismiss such an earnest support offer.

“It’s ok, take your time, Jimenyan… just don’t raise your voice, we can’t never be too careful.” Ibara looked around just to be safe, making sure no suspicious figure would be staring at them from a distance, no drone was in sight in the sky or any other sign of surveillance his trained eyes could detect.

“... Ibanyan…”

His concentration was interrupted with Hajime’s soft hands timidly holding his own, along with the apologetic smile and the flustered cheeks he met when looking at the boy again.

“... I’m really s-sorry… there’s… there’s nothing like this happening, at all…” Part of Hajime wanted to laugh a bit due to the absurdity, but he knew that Ibara meant well and would be cruel to crush his pride like that. It was hard enough to admit his own words were complete nonsense born from irrational desperation.

“I really appreciate you are willing to look after me…! That makes me happy… a-and if I need help someday, I promise I’ll reach out to you..!” Hajime felt his cheeks warming up, his heart racing a little as well and not only from shame. Ibanyan looked really cool talking like that, after all…

“B-but… the truth is, I just bumped into an expensive vase and panicked… it’s dumb, I know… f-feel free to be angry at me..! I apologize!!!” Hajime bowed his head as a genuine apology and as a way to not look into Ibara’s eyes out of embarrassment, even if still holding his hands. 

A good thing for Ibara, since he could avoid being seen turning as red as his hair in real time once the truth hit him like a truck, making him question all his life choices.

What the hell was he even trying to do, actually?! Playing a hero???

“... w-well.. well…!!!!” The producer finally broke the silence with a nervous smile, clearing his throat and looking everywhere but at the blue-haired boy keeping him in place with a simple touch. 

“G-good thing it’s nothing serious, of course…!! Ahaha .... Perhaps I got carried away with the worst scenarios in my own head as well! I also apologize for such bold assumptions on my part and for putting you in this complicated position, Jimenyan! ~ ☆”

A business-like scripted apology was the only way for him to cope with the situation at hand, desperately trying to shut up his own heart from pounding so fast and risking losing his cool in front of Hajime of all people. Just thinking of it makes his skin crawl with self-deprecation, as much as the rabbit is obviously one of the most understanding and kind people in the whole idol industry… but that’s precisely the reason he found himself so protective about him at the smallest sign of something deeply wrong going on. 

The old industry his cursed bloodline left behind is slowly changing everyday, so maybe he can relax a bit, but… Ibara isn’t the type to take any chances in general, let alone in regards to Hajime Shino, especially seeing him now smiling relieved with those bright purple gems of eyes.

“T-thank you very much…! P-please don’t apologize…! I’m just thankful you aren’t angry…” Hajime took a deep breath, able to relax a little again and loosening his grip on Ibara’s hand, but keeping the skin contact like a safe line.

“I could never be angry at you. I mean. I mean…” Ibara cleared his throat again, ignoring his face burning red and trying to reclaim full control of that damn big mouth of his getting ahead of his brain. “H-how anyone could, right?? Jimenyan didn’t mean anything bad, the heat just… messed a bit with you, it happens…!”

“... y-yea… it… happens… a-and probably will happen again…” Hajime was still processing the effect of those kind words that rolled out Ibara’s tongue so easily, but the guilt also was crawling into his heart now, enough to make him timidly retreat his hands from the grounding touch. He knew damn well it wasn’t the heat.

“... hm? Jimenyan?”

“Truth is… Ibanyan… t-thanks for the water, shadow and medicine, my headache is gone now… but… it’s not about the weather…” 

Hajime instinctively hugged his knees, looking at the sand with an apologetic smile. He was still struggling to find his voice when Ibara adjusted his glasses again with a sigh, glancing at his own hand warmed up by Hajime’s touch.

“... well. I said it, hm? You can talk to me. Even if there’s no blackmail… no one can eavesdrop and hear your confessions here. The offer is still totally up.” He offered a calm genuine smile, not surprised something deeper was hiding under the surface. It wasn’t unusual with Hajime.

“T-thank you… truth is… since I arrived, I don’t feel I belong here… y-you gonna think it’s so dumb, but… you know…” He sighed deeply, looking at the resort’s direction. “I still can’t deal well with fancy places… fancy food… huge rooms… it’s suffocating. It feels like every… tile and lamp and glass, even the air itself, is reminding me I don’t belong here… that I shouldn’t be here. Hah… I d-didn’t have breakfast today, either.”

Hajime twirled his hair nervously, trying to smile awkwardly while exposing his deepest worries he wasn’t proud of. Ibara expressed no reaction except eyebrows raised when he mentioned skipping breakfast, but he had nothing to say yet, so Hajime continued talking.

“... it’s weird, right? Anyone would say, ‘just enjoy what you can get, have fun’. ‘You worked hard for it’, even… you deserve it … even my family said that when I told them we would be coming here… they are happy for me, so why can’t I be happy for myself ? E-even if I try to push through it, my head hurts and my stomach churns… all kinds of paranoia eat me up… it’s h-hopeless…” He rubbed his eyes, fighting stubborn tears and afraid of his voice breaking if he said another word in the matter.

“.... a drastic life change can hit you in all kinds of ways, so don’t beat yourself up like this, Jimenyan.” Ibara spoke up in a calm tone, asserting a fact before anything else. “I can’t lie and say something like ‘I get it’, though… I’ve never had an issue with using the money that came my way, since my circumstances are wildly different. But…”

Ibara looked at the open sea, simmering the boy’s confession a little more in his own mind. It could have been a surprise at first glance, but thinking back to moments as the breadcrumbs lunch and other details from his experiences with Hajime, the situation was adding up easily. So…

“But I can say I know what paranoia feels like ~” He sighed with an amused smile, gazing at Hajime with kindness and sincerity now. “And having people blabbering about how you ‘deserve good things’ and ‘let yourself enjoy it’.... well, easier said than done, right? I mean, you can’t just poke at us a determined amount of times to make our levels of self-worth rise to 100% like game characters. Remember the pain in the ass you went through just convincing me to have fun at Boogie Time?”

“... ah.. ahaha…. t-that’s true… t-the poking, I mean.” The casual nonchalance and the example soothed Hajime’s heart enough for him to giggle genuinely, feeling at least part of the burden fading away from his shoulders. “It wasn’t a pain in the ass with you… but I understand what you mean, Ibanyan. Thanks… and sorry for dumping all of it on you out of nowhere.” 

“I mean, I was surprised, because you hide your struggles so well that I assumed a full-on blackmail conspiracy before considering the actual issue.” He grinned at Hajime, his tone laced with pride and amusement. “That’s a compliment. Use this clever ability to your advantage, Jimenyan ~ ☆ But besides… I have a hunch you needed that…”

“A-ability…? I guess so…” Hajime widened eyes for a moment, but he couldn't pretend he didn’t understand what Ibara was saying. He knew his personal image was more calculated than people could imagine, but of course a producer like Ibara would grasp that in no time given the chance. “... I’ve never talked to Tomoya-kun about it… or anyone… until now.”

“Your troubles are safe with me, Jimenyan! It’s my pleasure to lend you an ear! ~ ♪” Ibara saluted more cheerfully than the situation probably required, but he was quite happy for being the only one to know something so personal about the bunny. 

Not that he planned to blackmail or manipulate him - in particular - but, it’s always a personal joy to get more intel. That’s the reason his heartbeats seemed to be rejoicing and he couldn’t stop smiling, of course. What else could be?

The sudden feeling of arms sneaking around his torso and the weight pressing against him in a surprise hug knocked him out of any trail of thoughts, though.

“Ji-Jimenyan???”

“Thanks, Ibanyan…!” Hajime tightened the embrace, whispering so softly that his warm breath caused goosebumps through Ibara’s skin. “You can talk to me anytime, too… I’ll listen to aaaaall your troubles, ok ~ ♪”

“.... hmhm…” Ibara could only nod, unable to put a single thought together when the soothing scent of lavender shampoo and the pounding of Hajime’s heartbeats against his own were overwhelming his senses and sinapses very fast.

The hug lasted a brief eternity before Hajime’s arms slowly retreated and he stood up in front of the producer with flustered cheeks, hands behind his back and a timid smile like a demure maid. Not the sight expected from someone that hops on people for tight hugs and hushed whispers, but that natural contrast was just another of the bunny’s talents.

“... well… anyway, since we’re already here…” Hajime slowly leaned closer, his tone and gaze making Ibara feel a rush of adrenaline wondering what kind of proposal was coming out of the boy’s mouth. 

“Why don’t we refresh our legs in the water a little bit? Ehe… ~”

An adorable innocent smile and a carefree hand were extended to him, washing him with relief at the same time he felt embarrassed at his own mind going to unexpected places… it should have been the hug 'aftershock' numbing his senses, but that would be a worry for another day.

“... maybe a little bit, yeah.”

After a quick rollercoaster of emotions, Ibara accepted the offer with a grin, standing up and walking towards the sea hand in hand with a rabbit beaming like the sun again.

A perfect moment to enjoy while paranoias were on time out and a sign of hope that someday, neither hugs or expensive food would be daunting for them in any way.